What I Need
by Kay the Cricketed
Summary: Yet ANOTHER sequel to "A New Chapter". The 3rd one actually... :) Enjoy. Please review!!!


What I Need 

By Kay (AKA: Sp00kyfile) 

Disclaimer: I don't own Ax or the Animorphs or Erek or anything else. Tobi is my character, though. Free to use her, I don't care. Please- just don't sue me. Thank you. 

*Please Read* NOTE: This is yet ANOTHER sequel to "A New Chapter" and "Memorial"... I don't know why all of a sudden I'm furiously writing these sequel things- I thought I'd just leave it at "A New Chapter", but then along came "Memorial" unexpectedly, and now, I had another sudden urge to do yet another sequel. I don't know... they may keep coming, so look out... 

August 10th, The Future 

"Unnggh..." Alex Isthil moaned, trying not to drop the thermometer that was in his mouth. 

Erek King sighed and removed it. He studied it, shaking his head. "Hm. Doesn't look good, Ax. Your temperature is much higher than usual." 

Ax closed his eyes, leaning back against the white pillow in exhaustion. His face was drenched in sweat, and his skin was flushed slightly. "I feel terrible." 

Erek nodded. "I imagine you would, my friend. It's five or six degrees above normal. I advise you to stay in bed and rest until it passes." 

Ax opened his eyes, and grimaced. "How long will that take?" 

Erek shrugged. "I'm no physician, but I'm guessing perhaps about four days? It's pretty bad. Maybe you should see a doctor." 

Ax shook his head. "No... no doctors. Human physicians are incompetent. I am sure it will pass." 

Erek nodded again. "Okay, if that's what you want. But if you get worse, we'll take you." Ax nodded his consent, and Erek pulled the blankets on Ax's bed up around his chin. "Take care. If you need one of us, call." He left, leaving the door open a crack behind him. 

Ax shifted under the blankets, feeling hot and nauseated. He had never been so sick before, except for the time he had yamphut. And then, he had been delirious. But now... Now, the fever he had made him feel sick to his stomache and his head was pounding. 

He looked around his bedroom in the Chee's underground basement. After the war ended, he had dropped the name of Aximili-Esgarrouth-Isthill and become Alex Isthill. He had intentionally trapped himself as a nothlit, and come to live here. For a while, the walls of his new room remained bare, but slowly the room was filling up with things he wanted to keep. Pictures of the Animorphs were on his dresser. Ax had managed to get hold of them through his friends' families. The smiling faces of his friends stared back at him all day, at the time he woke up in the morning till he finally closed his eyes in the lonely night. Along with the pictures were books that he had checked out from the library. Dimly, he wondered if he should read one to pass the time while he stayed in bed, but he quickly pushed that thought away. He didn't think he could even hold the book straight, much less read it. 

Groaning, he buried himself under the covers, laying on his side. His stomache hurt... it hurt a lot. It was as if someone had poured acid into his digestive system. The aching pain faded sometimes, then came on full force. 

Ax heard a small wimper from the doorway. He looked up, confused at first. Then, as a small head with wild fur popped up on the side of the bed, he smiled slightly. A furry blonde puppy yipped a couple times and looked at Ax with large, pleading eyes. 

"Sorry, Tobi," Ax said hoarsly. "I cannot walk you today. I am not feeling well." He knew it was illogical to talk to the dog, but he was in pain, and Tobi was one of his best friends- despite the fact she was a canine. 

Tobi whined a little, and snuffled at Ax's sleeve, but eventually gave up when she heard one of the Chee whistling. Ax closed his eyes as she left the room in a happy skip. 

For hours, he lay there, tossing and turning, with an occasional moan when he was in pain. The fever was still in full effect- making his skin flushed and hot, and his stomache queasy.Finally, Ax gave up, and lay on his side. He curled up, burying his face in the pillow. His skin itched, and he rubbed his arms in irritation. He had never had a fever as a human- but he did not like it already. 

He closed his brown eyes, and tried to sleep. It was utterly impossible. 

After approximetly five minutes, he opened his eyes again. "This is not working..." he whispered hoarsely, his throat scratchy and sore. Perhaps he should have seen a doctor when given the chance... 

Ax whimpered softly as a wave of nausea came over him. Illogically, tears formed in his eyes, and he was startled to realize he was beginning to cry. Not sobbing, but simply letting the teras slowly flow down his cheeks. The kind of tears only shed by people who are miserable. 

He used the back of his hand to brush away the tears. What was wrong with him tonight? It was not as if he were dying. 

*I want my mother...* 

The thought was so unexpected that he blinked. Once again- without explanation- tears flowed down his face. This time, he did not stop them. 

*I want my mother, I want her to make things better- I want her to make Prince Jake and Tobias and the others come back- I want her to make the pain go away...* More and more tears fell from his eyes onto the pillow. 

*I want my mother... I want her to hold me, and comfort me, and tell me things will be fine... I want to hear her laugh and cry... I want her to be with me, to make me safe from everything that hurts me...* 

"I want my mother..." Ax whispered into the pillow, crying now without shame. He knew it was not possible- there was no way to contact her, muhc less in time for her to get here tonight. And would he want to? Yes... and yet, no. No, he did not want her to see what had become of him, although he knew it was entirely true that she must already know what had happened to him. 

*I am so sorry, Mother, so so sorry... I do need you, I need your love... I am still a child, Mother, I am not supposed to be fighting wars that are not mine... I love you... I need you to hold me, to make things better...* His pillow was wet with his tears, and still he did not stop them from coming. He needed to heal, to let it out. Ax heard a soft yip, and raised his head from the pillow. His vision was blury with tears , and he looked to the source of the sound through misty eyes. 

Tobi yipped once more, and then, without waiting for an invitation, jumped on Ax's bed. She padded over to him, her unruly blonde hair shining softly in the dark. Her blue eyes looked as if she had never been worried or unhappy in her life, as if she only knew joy. 

Ax met her innocent gaze with his own, haunted one. His eyes were those of a child who had grown up to fast, and had already lost too much. 

He picked Tobi up, and placed her next to him on the bed, holding her against his chest. She made some snuffling, yelping sounds before settling down and burying her nose in his neck. He held her, tears still slipping down his face, and buried his face in her fur, as if she could protect him from his nightmares. 

*I love you Mother... I need you more than anything... But I cannot have you anymore... I do not know where you are- but wherever you are- know that I love you, and I am very sorry... In my pain, I forgot that the one thing I need the most... is you.* 

Ax cried himself to sleep, carrying his pain to his dreams. *** 

Erek cracked open Ax's door, peeking in to check on him. The room was shadowed, except for the dim light that the bedside lamp cast upon Ax's bed. 

Silently, fearing he might wake Ax up, Erek walked over to Ax's bedside, and glanced down at his friend. Ax's face was buried in the pillow, his arm up around it as if he was hiding it. Erek could make out Tobi's shiny fur in the dim lighting from where she lay beside Ax, asleep next to his warmth. 

He reached over to the bedside table to turn off the lamp. 

"Please... leave it on." 

Erek looked down at Ax, slightly startled. "I didn't know you were awake... How are you feeling?" 

"Terrible," Ax said, his voice muffled by the pillow, but still coherent. He looked up, reluctantly facing Erek. Erek stared, shocked by the streaks of tears running down Ax's face. For a moment, he thought the fever had gotten worse- Ax's eyes were red and a little puffy. He looked tired, miserable, even though he was obviously doing his best to hide it. Feeling uncomfortable at being caught in such a state, Ax wiped his face with the back of his hand to try and clear off any remaining tear stains. He took a deep breath, and tried to regain his composure. Erek said nothing. He politely did not mention it, knowing the discomfort he had caused. 

"Sorry... I have been attempting to sleep..." Ax muttered, his eyes not meeting Erek's. Erek was a little worried at how flushed Ax's face was, and how his lips were becoming chapped. 

Erek reached over and touched Ax's arm gently. His hologram was on, not revealing his true android form, that resembled a canine. He was amazed, and concerned, at how hot Ax's body had gotten in the past few hours. He couldn't be sure without a thermometer, of course, but he was certain Ax's fever was getting worse. 

"Aximili," Erek said gently. Ax looked at him in surprise. Erek hardly ever used Ax's full name anymore- not without a reason. His friend's holographic face was serious, and carried a hint of worry. 

For an instant, Erek's face swam, and the whole room looked disoriented. Ax blinked, and groaned at the sudden flash of pain. "Ungh." 

Erek's holographic brow furrowed. Dimly, Aximili wondered if he was able to make the expressions on his face automattically now. But then, another wave of nausea struck, and Ax closed his eyes and sank back down onto the pillow. 

"Aximili?" Erek's voice seemed to come from far away, in another time, another place. Ax felt like he was underwater... Everything was moving so slowly, so calmly. He liked that. He liked how peaceful it seemed. No more war or pain. No more admitting Tobias and the others were gone. No more... No more... 

"Aximili?!!" Erek sounded alarmed now. 

What could possibly be wrong? 

He was safe, was he not? No more bad things to get him. No more pain. 

Where was his mother now, Ax wondered. Is she coming? 

Please come. 

I need you. 

Ax drifted down. Like iron weights, his eyes shut tightly. He ignored the nausea, the pain. That was irrelevant. 

He was safe. 

"AXIMILI???!!!!" 

Erek's panicking voice penetrated Ax's consciousness for a moment. 

Then everything became black. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

*Beep... Beep... Beep...* 

"Erek, put the chart down." 

*Beep... Beep... Beep...* 

"I am just looking at it." 

"Put it down." 

Silence. 

*Beep... Beep... Beep...* 

"What are you doing now?" demanded the odd, floating voice. 

"Checking the doctor's diagnosis." 

"Put. It. Down." 

*Beep... Beep... Beep...* 

Silence again. 

*Beep... Beep... Be-* 

"I said put it down!" 

There was a thudding sound. 

"Whoops..." 

"EREK!" 

Ax lay still, letting the sounds wash over him. The odd beeping sound kept continuing in monotone. It sounded slightly familiar, as did the voices, but he could not place it. So he just remained still. 

Where am I? he wondered. Hesitantly, he tried to move his hand. It moved slightly, but he felt a small prick of pain. Something was in his arm. 

He opened his eyes. 

Although the hospital room was dim, Ax winced as the light hit his eyes. He closed them again, and cautiously opened them. He blinked a couple times, and then looked around weakly. 

The room was white. A very plain, opaque white that seemed a bit disturbing to Ax. There were sofas in the corner, and a chair that looked like it had seen better days. A couple machines were beside the bed he was lying in. He looked down in confusion at his arm. An IV was dripping into his veins. He shuddered. 

"Ax?" 

Ax looked up again, into Erek's face, noticing the concerned look his hologram had, and wondered for the hundredth time if he was programmed to make the expressions automattically. 

"Whe..." He stopped, shaking his head, and clearing his throat. He tried again. "Where am I?" 

Erek smiled. "You're in a hospital. You gave us all quite a scare." He laughed, and Ax glanced around in surprise again. Yes, indeed, it was a hospital room. The IV proved it. 

"Why am I here?" he asked, shifting uncomfortably. He felt tired and weak, similar to the way he had after yamphut almost. Erek sat down beside Ax's bed. "It turns out your fever was a lot more serious than we had thought," he said grimly. "You were very sick. The doctor said it was really bad. We should have brought you here right away," he added, looking a little guilty. 

"So Erek's been pacing up and down for the past three days, waiting for you to come outta that thing." 

Ax turned his head in surprise to look at the familiar voice. 

Jordan. 

"Hello," he managed, staring at her. He had not seen any of the Animorph's family members since he had told them the truth those months ago. Jordan looked... older. Her blond hair shone in the small amount of sunlight coming in through the window, and her blue eyes looked like they were laughing. She looked... like Rachel. Only a little younger. Perhaps a little nicer. 

"Hey," she replied, smiling. "It's about time you woke up. Erek was starting to wear a hole in the floor." 

Erek laughed, and Ax looked at him with a smile on his face. He was thankful that Erek had worried about him. 

Jordan walked over to the other side of the bed and sat down. She brushed her hand against Ax's forehead. "He feels cooler. Much cooler, in fact." 

"Why are you here?" he asked Jordan, confused. "I did not think I would- I mean, that is-" 

"You didn't think you'd ever see me again?" Jordan asked, tilting her head with an amused smile. "Well, you were wrong. Gotta problem with that?" 

"No." Ax shook his head, a slow smile starting. "Not at all." He looked at Jordan again. She definitely took after Rachel. 

And yet... Not so much. 

Somehow... she was different. 

"Ax?" Erek asked, shaking him out of his thoughts. 

"Yes?" he replied, tearing his eyes away from Jordan, feeling embarrassed. 

"The doctor says you can go, as long as you are careful." Erek looked to the door. "Do you want to check out now or wait?" 

"I want to go. Now," he said, struggling to sit up. "I do not wish to spend all day in this place." 

Jordan grabbed his shoulders, and pushed him back down. "Oohh, no you don't. You are staying RIGHT HERE until the doctor checks you over again." Ax opened his mouth to protest, but she continued. "Don't even THINK of arguing. I am NOT going to drive a half-delirious guy home, only to find out we rushed him and he has to go BACK. So STAY HERE." She glared at Ax, her blue eyes flashing. 

Erek smirked. "You take after your sister, you know that?" 

For a moment, Ax looked pale, but then he smiled shakily. "Yes, you do, Jordan. You have everything correct, except you need to add, 'idiot' to the end of your sentences." 

Jordan laughed. "Just stay here... idiot." 

As soon as the doctor checked them out, they left, carefully helping Ax to the car. He sat down heavily in the front seat, and sighed, enjoying the cool air of autumn. Erek sat in the back, complaining of being robbed of his shot gun seat. Jordan climbed into the driver's seat, and started the ignition. 

"Well, let's go home, guys," she said, smiling. She tossed her hair back, a movement that Ax found fascinating. He stared for a second, his eyes wide, until she looked at him. "You okay? Or do you have a staring problem?" she demanded. 

Ax looked away, hiding a smile. "I am fine. Forgive me for staring in a rude manner." 

Jordan rolled her eyes. "Yeah, whatever. Anyway... So are you coming around the house sometime? I mean, after you get well," she said hastily. Ax looked at her in surprise. 

"What?" 

"You heard me," Jordan said, backing the car out of the parking lot. "Are you going to come over and visit, or mope with the Chee all day?" 

Ax shot a look at Erek. "The Chee are wonderful-" 

"Dear God, can't you answer a simple question?!" Jordan growled. "Will. You. Visit. It's not that hard to answer. It takes ONE little word." 

Ax smiled at the fiery look in her eyes. The sun was shining outside. The leaves were turning colors. He turned and looked out the window. 

"Perhaps I will..." he said after a second. He closed his eyes, and leaned back, listening to the hum of the car's motor. 

Jordan sighed impatiently. "Yes or no?" 

Ax opened his eyes again, and looked at her for a while. He chewed on his lower lip. She turned, still trying to keep her eyes on the road, and looked at him inquiringly. When he didn't answer, she tried again. 

"I'd really like to see more of you," she said in a serious tone. "If you come over, I'll get to know you better, and I'd like to." 

"Well," Ax said after a hearbeat of silence. He looked at her expectant face and her wide smile. 

Maybe what he needed was not his mother. Perhaps he needed something else- or someone else. 

Perhaps he should try harder to find what he needed. 

"In that case, Jordan, I will." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ THE END: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!! Left you wondering, didn't I?!! Now you'll never know what will go on between Jordan and Ax!!! ::laughs evily:: Cause unless I get some reviews- I quit the sequels!!! Okay, okay, just kidding... I *might* make one more...just one more... Can I help it if these are easy and fun to write??!!! I like writing about Ax's new life! So sue me! :) :) :) 


End file.
